Tag Archives: games

The tradition of making Christmas traditions

We’ve got a lot of Christmas traditions going on in our house, yet somehow, we keep adding to the list. We hit on something new and special one year, and everyone remembers it the next year. So we do it again. Some traditions are less important, like watching Home Alone for the billionth time, yet it seems like my holiday season involves an unsurpassed urge for me to squeeze in every one of my sentimentally-charged family traditions during those 4 quick weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. My own memories–which inspire my family traditions now–compel me to stop, especially at Christmas, and intentionally create settings for tradition-making.IMG_1360

Here are our favorites:

  • play Christmas music, almost exclusively, from CD and radio
  • make cookies (sugar, peanut butter kiss, ginger)
  • cut down Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving
  • decorate the tree as a family: I buy a Christmas ornament on every vacation we take, so our tree is a memory tree of family activities and pictures of the kids growing up; it’s so fun to reminisce as we pull out the ornaments
  • make a gingerbread house (kids decorate it and eat a lot of candy in the process)–this one has subsided, but I plan to re-introduce it when I have grandchildren
  • make fudge and eat it until I’m sick of it
  • read the Bible’s Christmas story, from Matthew and Luke, on Christmas Eve (followed by The Night Before Christmas)
  • make and decorate a birthday cake for Jesus and sing “Happy Birthday” to him on Christmas Eve (I’m noticing a lot of food-related traditions here)
  • providing Christmas presents for the needy (don’t forget the tacky light houses!)
  • drive downtown to see the Christmas lights and decorations
  • send out a Christmas card with family pictures and a newsletter about our year (my newsletter takes the form of a newspaper page, poem, or song–you know that nobody really enjoys a long form letter full of your family’s accomplishments!)
  • attend (and/or participate in) Christmas productions and concerts
  • limit gifts for my own kids to 3 gifts each (After all, it was enough for Jesus!)–something they want, something they need, and a surprise. This cut down on long, greedy wish lists during their growing up years. After they wrote a few things on their lists, they were done asking.
  • the kids decorate a second tree in the basement, filled with their home-ade ornaments (theme tree: Look what you made in the first grade!)
  • watch It’s a Wonderful Life and White Christmas
  • make a Christmas shoe box for someone who needs it (Samaritan’s Purse, soldier, etc.)
  • buy presents that mean something to both of us, that say “you’re special, and I know what you like”
  • Christmas Eve worship at home: everyone participates, either by reading out loud or playing an instrument; take communion together
  • stockings filled with toiletries and things everyone needs, by Dad (he’s always shocked by the expense–hello! that’s why half our money goes to Target)IMG_1357
  • on Christmas Eve, I tape off the top of the stairs with Christmas wrapping paper. On Christmas morning (after we turn on lights downstairs and position ourselves with the cameras), the kids break through the paper and come down to see the presents
  • Christmas brunch: home-ade cinnamon rolls and leftover birthday cake, among other things
  • eat holiday dinner on china, crystal, and silver (collection from my grandmothers, my mother, and me–includes a reminder lesson about how to use the extra knives, forks, and glasses)
  • play board games (Pit, Uno, Dutch Blitz, Monopoly)
  • see extended family, as many as possible
  • revel in the sensual experiences associated with living at Christmas: hugging family, tasting sweets, seeing glitter, smelling pine needles, listening to a crackling fire

No season is so special as Christmas, and no holiday is laden with such importance! Traditions are intrinsic to memories, and memories shape identity, security, and personality. Memories make us who we are. So let’s make good ones.

Merry Christmas! May you institute new traditions and reflect on their meanings. And may it change the way you see your world.

The Art of Winning

Winning is everything. 

At this point, you are likely thinking one of three things:

a) I disagree. You must be one of those crazed football fans who paints a letter on his chest. (NO, I’m not!)

b) I agree. When can we go to a game together? (Sorry, I’m already committed to several seasons per year.)

c) I don’t know what you mean. (Read on.)IMG_0514 (1)

It is human nature to be competitive.  I think everyone wants to “win” at something. Even the people who claim they don’t care about winning have goals and standards for themselves, that when measured against other peoples’ lives, prompt feelings of anxiety or self-congratulation. If you’ve gotten this far in my blog, you probably think so, too, even if you don’t play Monopoly. (But you should. Who doesn’t enjoy a rousing game of Monopoly?)

Here’s why I think this is true. If competition weren’t a powerful tool, teachers wouldn’t give spelling bees, parents wouldn’t reward good behavior, employers wouldn’t offer incentives, free market enterprise wouldn’t succeed, and the American Dream wouldn’t motivate anyone to buy more or work longer. Introverts wouldn’t set secret goals and reach them. Extroverts wouldn’t share their goals with the world and re-adjust them when the endeavor looks unlikely to succeed. List-makers (like me!) wouldn’t add items to their lists after I’ve completed them, just for the sheer joy of checking things off. (I can’t wait to check this blog off by posting it!)

Competition is powerful. Whether you compete with yourself or someone else, the drive to progress, succeed, and yes, even win, powers at least some of your daily activities. If I had a dollar for every conversation I’ve endured when another parent is listing off the accomplishments of her child–I’d be rich. You know that parent. And you know the internal struggle: do I start talking about my kid’s accomplishments, or should I just listen? (Who’s going to win this?) On second thought, maybe all those people are just sharing because they assume I’m incredibly interested, and maybe I’m the self-absorbed competitor. Okay, so maybe this blog is just for me.

I am competitive. I admit it. I love any kind of board game or card game.  I love watching sporting events, which is good, since I live in a house of 4 crazed sports enthusiasts. (Actually, I can’t think of any family vacation that we have taken that didn’t involve doing sports and/or going to a sporting event.)  I want to do well at work, at home, and at church. So does that mean I want to “beat” people everywhere I go?

Of course not. You don’t have to make the proverbial climb over co-workers or shout obscenities at a referee to prove there’s a drive within the human spirit that must accomplish a task, achieve “perfection,” or receive recognition. We all want to be noticed and appreciated. And when we don’t receive that “pat on the back,” then we begin the comparison game.

So what are we talking about then? Maybe the real issue here is comparison. Comparison fuels competition.

It’s helpful to me to consider the role these concepts play in my life, because every time I’m inclined to criticize, feel jealous, or  act resentful, I can be sure I’m in a dangerously competitive mood, which marks the beginning of a downward spiral–a cyclone that gains speed and scatters debris as it rages through my life–debris like manipulation or truth-bending, withdrawal or self-deprecation. Any of these insecure reactions spawn a storm of fear and impulse to meet expectations or to minimize failures. 

Comparison to others can be a damaging exercise, no matter how motivational it is in the workplace or the classroom. We humans are designed for living life in relationship, not in competition with one another, so when we compete, negativity results. When I compare and compete, I fail to realize that another person’s success or failure neither adds nor detracts from my success if my life is centered on grace and truth.

However, if my life is only about reaching a destination–then I am hell-bent on a race to nowhere. I may still win, but at the expense of the whole experience.

I would venture to assert this concept as true:  winning means nothing after the win. It carries an allusion of continuing value because it feeds  the prideful, insecure animal within. Actually, the experience of striving has the real value.

Striving changes a person’s character; winning only changes perception. This whole process of striving for something is actually an art form. It’s a process through which the participant is changed and and his contribution is validated. The end result doesn’t make him great, although it may bring acclamation. The real greatness is achieved through the striving.

So get your face paint on, if it makes you feel more connected, but I suggest focusing on the journey itself. I will attempt to take my own advice, too, because I really need it. Winning here  on earth isn’t anything; living is everything. When I cease to live, then winning will become the everything I had hoped it would be–and more!

1 Corinthians 9:23-25

New Living Translation (NLT)

23 I do everything to spread the Good News and share in its blessings.

24 Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! 25 All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize.