4 Reasons I Have Nothing to Wear

“I have nothing to wear.”

Oh, the times I have said that when I had a closet full of clothes!

There are four reasons–well three, really, (because the first one isn’t true)–that I utter those words. They are:

  1. I really have nothing to wear. I only own the clothes I’m currently wearing. Said no typical American woman. And certainly not me. This is a lie of entitlement, no doubt, so let’s move on to the “real” reasons I have nothing to wear. I don’t want to feel guilty where clothes are concerned.
  2. I have nothing new. i.e. I’m bored with my old clothes. True-er words were never spoken. I’m a bit embarrassed to say it, but it’s true, isn’t it? New clothes are always the best clothes. Nothing looks as good on me as a freshly de-tagged garment.
  3. I have nothing that fits me right. i.e. I don’t look good in the clothes I put on. This is probably the curse of modern culture and the human condition, but at times, I believe it like the gospel. Perhaps it means I haven’t purchased the right design for the body I have. I blame Barbie and Hollywood and Eve. But never chocolate or ice cream.
  4. I have nothing appropriate for this occasion. i.e. I don’t know what to wear because I’m not sure exactly what’s in style. I suspect this reason doesn’t occur in households containing girls, especially teenage girls. They always know what to wear, and they don’t mind telling everyone else in the house, especially their mothers, what to wear–and more specifically, what NOT to wear. I don’t know how my mom could stand me, but I think I practically dressed her for my entire teenage existence. She should have cut off my clothing budget in response to my interference. Oh, wait. She was too generous to give me a budget. Hmm. Maybe it’s her fault that I have a clothes problem.

I’ll admit that I’m a bit of a clothes horse, which I excuse by bargain-hunting, thrifting, and for many years, sewing my own clothes. I have taken the above statement “I don’t have anything to wear” on every shopping trip I’ve ever made. It’s very handy.

I’m sure there’s a lesson here about thankfulness and contentment. But in the back of my clothes-horse mind, I’m frightened about never having anything to wear. So I’m keeping the statement handy, because I intend to use it.

You can use it, if you want to.

Top 12 Book Club Reads

I started a book club in 2013 and invited several bibliophiles to join me so that I would read at least 1 book per month for pleasure.

Having spent the previous couple decades teaching English, I was an avid reader, but I found that most of my reading time was spent on A) reading student essays (no comment) and B) re-reading the same books again and again because I was teaching them and had forgotten the little details of plot. Trust me, no matter how good something is, after about 5 readings of The Odyssey, Animal Farm, Mythology, etc., you’d like to move on to something else. Especially something you’re not making study guide or test questions for. (Yes, I know I just ended a sentence with a preposition. I’m blowing away the confines of grammar today.)

I won’t tire you with our whole book list (you can go to my Pinterest to see the recommended reads)–I thought I’d give you a short list of my favorites so far, in case you’re compiling your own book club list for this year. These are all discussable, and many have book club questions/prompts in the back or online. I’m giving you 12–one book per month of great fiction and non-fiction (we generally don’t read Christian living titles for book club because we all do that on our own). You will laugh, cry, and think about them for days. You will grow.

(Just what a good book should compel you do.)

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A Sugar-free Poem

It’s time again for my sugar fast

I’ve turned away from sweets at last.

It happens every New Year’s Day–

A resolution, you might say,

To read all labels in the store,

To pass by donuts, pies, and more.

 

Although this diet makes me wary,

My will must last ‘til February.

The list of contraband’s so long,

I could make up another song

That goes like this: “Your life is over;

You’re about to live on greens and clover.”

 

Dessert, of course, is gone for good—

If only I had understood:

No pasta, bread, juice, or sauce,

Dressings, wine—all is lost—

I can’t eat granola bars or dips,

Cold cereal or chocolate chips,

No pancakes or cookie dough

Or any snacks that end with 0.

 

My meals are bland, there’s no denying—

My head hurts from all this trying.

Sure, there’s Stevia and Nutra-Sweet,

But they can’t make my food complete!

There’s honey crystals or that Splenda–

Agave drops, what’s your agenda?

You blur my taste buds’ endless dream

Of maple syrup and ice cream.

Saliva forms inside my mouth;

I’ll run away, I’ll go down South

Toward cake, sweet tea, a piece of pie,

Where I’ll eat sugar ‘til I die.

 

It’s only 25 more days.

I see the finish, in a haze—

A brave new world that’s sugar-free—

It’s good for you, but not for me.

 

image by Jean Beaufort